Kneading Bread

Why the long title?

Well, for the most part it is because I’m trapped. I’m without the spiritual elders of earlier years, and without their wisdom I’m flailing around searching for a rock. All the while knowing that the rock is ultimately Christ, my hope, and I’m trusting in it, but I’m nervous about all the details.

To start at the beginning, for my first sixteen years of life I was an atheist, raised by agnostics, knowing little of the church (I was quite happy that way.) I was baptized as a baby at an Episcopal church, the denomination of my father, but never really knew anything except the Lord’s prayer. We recited it as a family before bed until I was about 4, but something happened and it simply stopped. All religious “truth” was set aside in a rush of self-driven intellectualism, the real God of my home.

I converted thanks to the work of the Spirit and the well-spoken words of Mennonite friends who introduced me to a life of Christ that was holistic, real, and working to redeem values and people to a “Truth” that wasn’t being handed to them from a source outside the Bible. I needed a local church, and being in the part of Pennsylvania I was in, it happened to be a Lutheran church. I had no particular ties to the church at first, but I began to read the words of Luther and was inspired by the fire and passion in his words. I stayed with the Lutheran church for the few years before college, gleaning what I could from the theological scraps from preaching and feasting on the words of Luther.

At college in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania I was introduced to the Moravians, and quickly became one, singing at Central Moravian for three years before becoming a member of Edgeboro Moravian. I loved their traditions, their history, their words and daily practicality. Zinzendorf placed a heart-driven passion at the center of my theological world (herztheologie) and he continues to be the main influence on my theological direction (much to the chagrin of my more puritan-style reformed friends.) I met my wife around this time and often attended two church services every Sunday, one at the Moravian church I was a member of and one at the church she had grown up in, a highly charismatic world of flags, praise guitars, and prophetic words. Although I never felt at home here, they did show me something amazing about the fact that the expression of faith can be emotive and celebratory, it is OK to jump up and down in worship (they did it on Palm Sunday, of that I am sure, if ever there was a rock-styled event in the Gospels, it was then.)

Time to step aside for a moment to address the “calling of Christ” in my life. Early on, maybe a year after conversion, I was leading an emotional friend through the Lord’s prayer, she wanted to leave the church, she hated the hypocrisy and the lies. In bringing her through this she was brought to tears, I could sense the tension of faith and self that I often find in my own heart. As I got off the phone I felt overwhelmed, I broke into tears, I knew that this is what I was called to. I was called to speaking the Gospel’s truth into people’s lives. I was scared, excited, and firmly convinced that I had a direct experience, hearing God’s say, “This is your calling, now GO and follow it.” As I progressed through college, helping to lead worship, and as an elder of the campus fellowship, I began to pursue candidacy in the Moravian church. I eventually found myself at odds with some of the extra-scriptural elements slinking in at the edges. I decided not to complete my final candidacy paperwork and took a job in Virginia, far away from the Moravians and all the craziness that made me sick to my heart and stomach. For two years in Virginia I helped lead worship at a small Baptist church, living and loving in an urban context quite unlike the part of Pennsylvania I grew up in. After two years in Virginia we moved to Massachusetts when my wife took a job at a small Christian college, a college near the seminary that appealed to me the most, Gordon-Conwell.

We’ve worked at paying off all our debts and now I stand on the precipice of Seminary, without official denominational backing, although I am attending a Lutheran church that is a member of LCMC.

I’m scared to death – I don’t fit in any molds that I’ve met.

I have love for all those folks I’ve met:
Charismatic: for their unrestrained passion to experience God in worship
Evangelical: the Word must be proclaimed, there’s no getting away with whitewashing Christ’s truth for the world
Lutheran: the fire of the Spirit changes not just your actions, but brings you to repentance and the grace of God
Anglican: God is Holy, and the mind is a tool, not just something to be avoided or turned off
Baptist: your life is a reflection of Christ, the little things do make a difference
Mennonite: we are strangers in a strange land, we can’t just agree with the “powers” of this world and forsake the truth
Moravian: this world is our ministry field, we can’t avoid it, but we can bring light to places of darkness

Sure, there are parts where I disagree (For example I can’t bring myself to have a second baptism, both on grounds of the Nicene creed and on a covenantal belief in the nature of the baptism itself), but ultimately I just want to find a church home. One that holds to truth, but seeks out an holistic expression of it, a world-changing expression of it, and a hope in the life of the world to come. Any ideas where this seminarian can find a place to lay his head?

Dobson says “no” to Giuliani - Thanks to Mere Comments for starting this thought train! The positions of this coming presidential election’s Republican candidates (pro-torture or pro-abortion) shows something that I hope will wake Christians out of their blanket support for the Republican party into a Christ-centered politic that never will fit into Rome’s little boxes. In the words of Derek Webb’s song, A Love That’s Stronger Than Our Fear:

 if you were pushed that way
to betray yourself to keep yourself alive
is life worth so much?

False Teachers – A great find from Old Truth.com.

I confess the hypocrite may act his part so well that he may accidentally do some good. His glistening profession, heavenly speech, and eloquent preaching might bring to the sincere seeker a message of real comfort. Like an actor at center stage who stirs up passion in the audience by counterfeit tears, the hypocrite, playing his religious role, may temporally spark the believer’s true graces. But that is when the Christian may be in the most serious danger, for he will not readily suspect the person who once helped him spiritually.

This lovely title page from “A treatyise of the iustificacyon by faith only, otherwise called the parable of the wyked Mammon.” Was posted over at The Conventicle – I have a softspot for this… old books and theology! This is just beautiful…

Preaching Hell in a Tolerant Age from Tim Keller via The Resurgence 

The Morning I heard the Voice of God from John Piper via Desiring God 

Touchstone has a quick little blog post on what five books you’d take with you on a Desert Island… as much as I love books, I think I could only say definitively that I’d bring my Bible, but maybe you will have a longer list to write about in their comments.

Al Mohler (of the Southern Baptists) takes an unrepentant Ann Coulter to task in this post

Here John Piper and Mark Dever talk about redemption, and you can listen in

Looking back, this is a little Baptist heavy, but I’m not a Baptist – just happens these Baptists are talking about interesting things!

My wife and I were lucky enough to get a chance to see Amazing Grace on opening night thanks to some kind folks at the college where she works. I thought I would share a few thoughts I had after watching it (as a total amateur at both film review and the history surrounding this man.)

The movie, although overacted at points, refrains from the draining menial details that often take over movies set in the same period. I came in expecting Jane Austen with morals and got a welcome surprise in the form of Mr Apted’s deft handling of a potentially dangerous subject: British Parliamentary Procedure. The film captures the patience and tenacity needed to effect change in a society where vested interests often have far deeper pockets than what is morally right. This passion, what easily could be seen as Paul’s “running the race,” is far too rare a virtue in our day. We’re taught that an election, or a simple snap decision will solve all our problems, but the reality of this world is far harsher-and William Wilberforce’s life is a testimony to running the race.

Please don’t go to the movie expecting a spectacular work, but come expecting an affecting work. The kingdom still needs workers in the field and their is still an amazing grace redeeming this world.

This usage of pegboard makes an ordinary desk into an extraordinary space-saver! As an IT worker with more cables than I care to admit this is nothing short of revolutionary, seems like a good project to try in the near future.

Peace.

Currently I’m a fairly successful IT Analyst/Engineer, but in just a few months I’ll be going to graduate school and will not be nearly so fiscally safe. Reading the article “Surviving (and thriving) on $12,000 a year” made me think about the fact that existing on a fixed income is as much a mental change as it is a fiscal one.
Thanks to LifeHacker

George Barna, the preeminent christian polling and research authority, has taken a look under the façade that many assumes is evangelical christianity and shows us the numbers.
check it out… it isn’t all roses